Three rules before you say “no”

Posted Wednesday, January 19, 2011 - 7:12pm

Being somewhat of an expert on the art of rejection—never having rejected anyone before in my life, but being rejected plenty of times—I thought I would write a small piece with three rules to help ladies not hurt men so much.

First rule: say no with respect. Let’s say some guy says, “hey you want to come over and hang out? Maybe I’ll make you dinner?” With respect and love for the other person you can say. “Sweetness we can hang out but my life is complicated and I can’t get into a relationship right now, but let’s hang out this weekend.” So, you’ve told him: A) You’re not interested. B) You still want to be his friend. By doing it this way, your “No” will have an added effect of him still feeling good about himself. Then when you go over that weekend, be a fun friend. That’s the key! Now, if you have no respect and love for the other person you can say something like, “Hell no you’re a loser, get away from me!” (My personal favorite!)

Second rule: don’t get weird. So let’s say that I walk up to a “friend girl” and say, “Hey come over and play cards. I’ll make you dinner.” To that kind invite for some reason you say “No.” The next day we don’t talk, you avoid me, or give me “The Stare.” You’ve become weird for no reason at all. True, I did ask you on a date; false, I want a relationship with you. Honestly ladies, most guys just want someone cute to hang out and talk with.

Third rule: say YES! To quote a line from Hitch: this could be your last “First Date.” It takes so much courage to walk up to a woman and ask her on a date, then when women say “No” it hurts really, really bad. Even if you’re not dating at the time or dating someone else, just say “Yes.” You’ll get a free dinner and the guy will get to hang out with a beautiful woman for one night; you both win.

Let me make 3 exceptions for all you ladies: A) if the guy that’s asking you out is married, don’t do it. B) If the guy is stalking you (It’s probably not a good idea to go out on a date with him. I don’t know though, maybe you ladies like stalkers?) C) If he’s more than 10 years older or has a felony.

One last thing, I don’t understand or agree with this mind set of being “exclusive.” You’ll get exclusive when you’re married, don’t take things too fast. We’re all young. Enjoy life before looking for or starting a family.

In my next opinion piece, I’ll teach all you nice ladies the art of the “Preemptive No.” I mean why let him ask you out? Say “No” before he ever get’s the opportunity of asking you on that first date.

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