Torn from the next

Roommates in college
Posted Thursday, August 27, 2009 - 5:49pm

College life is a life coveted by most high school students. In their minds, college is nothing but parties. The students, at times, have consumed so many suspicious liquids, they cannot recall which one or two or three that made them so hung-over. One thing is for sure, the movies that depict college as one big party are nothing but fallacies.

The week I've spent in college hasn't been anything like that. I have not seen any wild groups of frat guys toilet-papering the dean's house and yet to see any of the females going wild. Movies and late night commercials have lied to me about what college life was like. Oh well, I've still got my fingers crossed that I'll at least get a glimpse of the crazy college antics of Animal House.

I realize, though, that dorm life is not as hard as I thought it would be. Living in a dorm is like living in an apartment with five other guys, that's it. Nothing crazy, nothing whacky, so far anyway. Perhaps the hardest thing to get used to is everyone's different quirks and body odors. You see, being the baby of my family and the only child left at home, the only body odor in my room was my own. That was bad enough, now times that by five and "whew!" Perhaps this assignment will let me probe (not that probe, you dirty devil) into the minds of my roommates and get to know them better.

I start my series of hard hitting interviews with harder hitting questions such as: Where are you from? How are you adapting to dorm life? Do you have a car? Do you miss your old house/life?

My first dorm-mate is none other than Jake Josie, 18, who can be tried as an adult; he is quite enthusiastic about that. I asked him where he was from and he burst out with a loud and proud, Bluffdale, Utah (he claims he's from the most rural part of Salt Lake). Biting back the tears, he whimpers a soft, "I miss my mom!" He puffs out his chest and claims that it was a joke, but I can see through his tough guy front to the momma's boy without a momma. I handed him a tissue and asked him about his "sick wheels." He told me he drives a Toyota Corolla. He stresses that he would support America's automobile companies if they didn't suck. My last question I don't ask, because I've seen enough of his tears.

Now I came to college with a fellow Orangeville Hood Rat by the name of Alex "Ducky" Spears, brother of the famous lady's man Riley Spears. I asked how he's adapting and he says, "new experiences are alright but sharing a room with other dudes is a little weird though." His eyes began to get shifty as my questions get more and more personal. He's hiding something. When I ask about his car he gets even more standoffish, after a lot of prodding, he finally admits to having a light green 2000 Stratus missing a hubcap. After I asked about his old life he became loud and unruly, and claimed he was glad he was gone. Now maybe his parents would realize he existed. Off the record though, I doubt it.

With two interviews under my belt, I began the next, the Tyler Schade (AKA the Cowboy), the resident YEE HAW fanatic. This guy loves horses so much that he claims that his mother has hooves and his father was born chewing tobacco and smoking at the same time. When I asked him where he was from, he told me, "over there" pointing towards his dorm room. After repeating the question at least three more times, he told me Huntington, Utah. When the question about dorm life came up he screamed, "Yee-haw bro!" and something along the lines of how awesome it was to be here. He doesn't have a car. I asked him if it was because horses are better than cars. He threw his hat down and shot me a glare, he told me that stereotyping was wrong and that even cowboys have feelings. He's sitting down to play the Wii now, still offended at my horse comment, I ask him if he missed his house and he just ignored me and muttered "No."

At this point I'm starting to become more and more afraid, I've already made one enemy and caused two others emotional trauma. I push forward anyway because I have got a point to make. I will continue alienating my roommates and causing awkwardness because this is my first assignment and it makes great reading!!

Next I interview the only kid not from the state of Utah, Julius Adebayo, who came from Florida but, originally Lagos, Nigeria. He thinks Utah is a pretty awesome place and that the mountains are pretty swanky. "Cool it's umm ... It's nice." He's hesitation tells me more than his words ever could. I asked him if he had a car, he just looked at me like I was some sort of idiot and said no. "Sorta ... kinda." truer words have never been spoken before.

The last interviewee is none other than Quinn Holliday, four-year veteran of CEU and full-time hero. I've only seen Quinn once and that was when he moved in, I tried and tried to get the interview but I'm no a superhero. So in short he's probably an awesome guy, or he has something to hide.

Dorm life is different for everyone, some people burst into tears at the mere mention of their mothers. Some are spiteful and others are indifferent. Everyone is a their own unique butterfly. So if you see anyone (short of a sex offender) just give them a hug because we are all in the same boat this year.

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